영어고수님들 첨삭 좀 부탁드립니다
후스트(211.231)
2005-03-14 23:43
추천 0
짤방은 탁재훈
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간만에 영작을 해봤는데 틀리거나 어색한 부분이 많이 있는 것 같습니다.
최대한 쉽게 쓴다고 써 봤는데, 고수님들의 첨삭좀 부탁드릴게요. 특히 말 안되는 부분 좀
자연스럽게 해 주시면 좋겠네요. 염치없이 죄송합니다
My parents have taught me to be a person not only of broad outlook but stood by
myself since when I was little.
So one of the way to be a that person was travelling around the world very frequently.
For instance, first of all I started travelling round the eastern suburb near the East Sea
by bike, and then went round America, New Zealand, Austrailia, and many countries in
Europe. Naturally it made me get a practical knowledge which I couldn't learn in Korea,
and learn the way to be able to mingle with any person as well as the diversities of
their own culture, custom and life style.
But that I used to take the president and vice president position of my class in my
school days, sincerity, responsibility and personal relationship are my best merits.
Moreover, as a personnel of a organization, I am able to keep the rule of the
organization, cooperate with others and do anything I take charge of with a good
physical strength.
부족한 실력으로나마 다시 한번 써볼게요
My parents have taught me to be a person not only of a broad outlook but also a self-confident man since I was a kid. One way to become as such was travelling abroad frequently. For instance, I started travelling around the eastern suburb near the East Sea on bike. Then, I traveled to America, New Zealand, Austrailia and many other countries in Europe
Consequently, I learned a practical knowledge which I couldn't learn in Korea. Furthermore, I became able to mingle with any person as well as with their diverse culture, customs and lifestyle. Nevertheless, those experiences made me the vicepresident and even the president of my class in my school days. My best merits were sincerity, responsibility and personal relationship. Nowadays,
as a personnel of an organization, I am able to keep order within the organization, cooperate with the others and do anything I take charge of with a restless strength
전체적으로는 괜찮은 작문이나, 중간 중간에 문장이 약간 꼬이는듯한 인상을 주는군요. For instance같은류의 것은 문장에 한번 밖에 사용하지 못합니다. 그러니 For instance, first of all은 부자연스럽다고 할수 있겠습니다. 문법적으로는 문제가 될만한게 별로 없어보이나, 작문의 자연스러움이 제일 중요하다고 생각합니다. 그럼 좋은 하루
도움 감사합니다 ^^