‘Mishima liked to pretend he was committing seppuku. I had to watch, and eventually he brought along a sword and showed me how to stand behind him as his kaishaku. He also had other props. He would write out a death poem. Can’t remember any of it though, poetry’s not my thing. And oddest of all, he pulled a huge length of red cloth from his briefcase. What’s that? I asked him before we started. “Blood,” he said. “Blood and guts.”
‘I was impressed the first time we did this. Mishima got hard at once and as he died he came. Without touching himself at all. I had never seen anyone do that before. I didn’t find the role-playing at all arousing and wanted him to fuck me, but he didn’t want to — I think I was just a witness to something he wanted to do in front of an audience — and after we had re¬ enacted his bloody death on three “dates” in a row I decided not to see him any more. I wasn’t surprised when he did himself in later. I think he’d spent a long time thinking about it.’
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