[일반] 잃어버린 러버덕 (미 특수부대 평가/선발 썰)

[버녁충(winning8714)]

Little Lost Rubber Ducky

누군가 잃어버린 러버덕 (미군 특수부대 평가/선발 썰)

 

So, no shit, I was coming out of my funk and moving well. I had my first two points in the Special Forces Assessment/Selection (SFAS) course under my belt already, and it was not quite dawn yet. My third point was six or seven klicks away, which was much more manageable than the eleven klick movement that my first point had required. I’m pretty good at land nav, I enjoy being outside, and it was my birthday. My birthday was starting to shape up into a decent day after an admittedly rough start.

난 슬슬 기분이 풀리고 있었고, 순조롭게 이동 중이었어.

동이 트기도 전에 특수부대 평가/선발 과정의 첫 두 포인트를 통과했지. 세번째 포인트는 6,7km 떨어져있었지만, 첫 포인트까지 11km를 이동해야했던거에 비하면 훨씬 나았지.

난 독도법에 능하고, 야외활동도 좋아하는 편이었고, 게다가 그 날은 내 생일이었어. 처음에 좀 힘들었었지만, 이제 슬슬 꽤 괜찮은 날이 되어가고 있었지.

 

I moved steadily through the woods, occasionally passing other candidates. I didn’t know most of them; our class was approximately 450 candidates to start. Aside from a nod and grunt, we really didn’t talk. It wasn’t permitted, and this was our second week in. The guys still here had gone through PT week already where we spent all day, every day, moving. We had hours-long smoke (exercise) sessions. It’s physically impossible to literally work out all day long, but it sure felt like they tried to get us there. After that much work, nobody wanted to blow it by getting caught talking. On top of that we couldn’t just address anybody by their rank or name because didn’t we wear rank or regular name tapes anyway; just a strip of white cloth tape with a roster number scribbled on it in marker. My number was 319. I still remember because there was a humorously demoralizing moment toward the end of PT week when I realized that 319 reflected in the mirror in the latrine spelled ‘pie’. Pie sounded really good at that particular moment.

난 숲 속으로 열심히 이동했어, 종종 다른 후보생들을 지나치면서. 난 이들 대부분과 안면이 없는 사이였어. 우리 기수는 대략 450명에서 시작했어.

후보생들 사이엔 고개를 끄덕이거나 ‘음’ 소리 내는거 말고 대화는 딱히 없었어. 애초에 대화는 금지였고, 이제 우린 2주차였거든. 이 시점에서 남아있는 후보생들은 체력단련 주간을 거친 사람들이었어. 그땐 정말 하루종일 일주일 내내 굴렀었지. 몇시간동안 쉬지않고 구른 적도 있었어. 하루 24시간 내내 운동하는건 물리적으로 불가능하지만, 교관들은 진짜로 그걸 목표로 삼는 느낌이었어.

그 고생을 하고난 뒤 떠들다가 탈락당하고 싶어하는 사람은 아무도 없었지. 게다가 우린 서로를 이름이나 계급으로 부를 수도 없었어. 계급장이나 명찰을 달고 있지 않았거든. 대신 마커로 명단 번호 적어놓은 하얀 천 테이프를 달고 다녔지.

내 번호는 319였어. 이걸 아직도 기억하는 이유는, 체력단련 주간 막바지때 화장실 거울에 비친 319가 ‘pie’처럼 보이는걸 깨닫고 기분이 상당히 다운됐었거든. 그때 정말 파이가 너무 먹고 싶더라.

 

Anyway, I had been navigating using terrain association and handrailing, but I knew I was approaching my point. I paused for a second to check my map. I knew I would be hitting the intersection of a road and a stream, and I had to go a couple hundred meters from there on a specific azimuth to hit my point. Some of these points were close to each other and I wanted to be sure I hit my point on the first try. I’d been freewheeling a bit for the first part of the movement, but this final part would be the critical bit. I didn’t want to look lost in front of the crusty old retired SF guys sitting at each point if I rolled up to the wrong one all confident that I’d made it.

아무튼, 난 Terrain association(지형 판별)이랑 Handrailing(선 따라가기) 방법으로 대충 포인트에 다가가는 중이었어. 지도를 확인하기 위해 잠시 멈췄지.

내가 도로와 개울이 교차하는 곳에 곧 도착할 것이고, 그 곳에서 특정 방위각으로 몇백 미터 떨어진 곳에 내 포인트가 있다는걸 알고 있었어. 포인트 몇 개는 서로 가까이 있었고, 난 첫번째 시도에 내 포인트를 찾고 싶었어.

초반에는 대충 감으로 움직였지만, 이 마지막 파트가 핵심이었지. 잘못된 포인트에 자신만만하게 도착해서 포인트마다 앉아있는 퇴역한 고참 특수부대원들 앞에서 망신당하고 싶진 않았거든.

 

As I was looking down at my map, my eyes slid off the map and suddenly focused on something on the ground: a rubber duck. We were all carrying a 45 lb rucksack with two two-quart canteens on it, a Load Bearing Vest (LBV—I’m pretty sure mine was from the Vietnam war) with two one-quart canteens on it, and a steel and rubber training rifle that we called a ‘rubber duck’. We were never supposed to let our rubber ducks be more than an arm’s length away from us. If you weren’t able to reach out and pick your rubber duck up, you were wrong. Cadre members occasionally walked nonchalantly among the candidates and just picked up unattended rubber ducks. Everything is an evaluation, and your rubber duck is a quick indicator they used for whether you were what they wanted or not.

지도를 확인하는 도중, 땅에 놓인 무언가 내 눈에 들어왔어. 바로 러버덕이었지.

우리가 지니고 다닌 것들:

20kg짜리 배낭, 거기 달린 2L 물통 두개.

전술조끼(내껀 아마 베트남 전쟁 시절 물건), 거기 달린 1L 물통 2개.
그리고 ‘러버덕’이라는 별명의 강철과 고무로 만든 훈련용 소총.

러버덕은 항상 본인 곁에 지니고 있어야 했어. 손을 뻗어서 러버덕을 잡을 수 없다면, 네가 잘못한거였지. 교관들은 종종 후보생들 사이로 무심히 걸어다니면서 방치된 러버덕들을 줍곤 했지. 모든게 평가 대상이었고, 러버덕은 네가 그들이 원하는 사람인지 아닌지 판단하는데 쓰이는 간단한 수단이었어.

 

So here I was, looking at some poor schmuck’s rubber duck. I looked around. There was nobody in sight. Well, shit. Somebody was royally screwed. I picked it up, finished my map check, and made it to my point within fifteen minutes or so.

근데 내 앞에 누군가의 러버덕이 놓여있었어. 난 주변을 둘러봤지만, 아무도 보이지 않았어. 에휴, 그 누군가는 완전히 망한거였지. 난 그걸 집어들고, 지도 확인을 마무리한 다음, 약 15분 뒤 내 포인트에 도착했어.

 

Increasingly, toward the end of each land nav course it wasn’t unusual to see some of the faster candidates sitting at a point as they finished ahead of time. There was a candidate sitting there at my point, which surprised me a little because, holy hell, he had to have been virtually sprinting from point to point to be done this early/.

매 독도법 훈련마다, 재빠른 후보생들 몇몇은 훈련을 일찍 끝내고 마지막 포인트에 앉아있곤 했어.

난 내 포인트에 누군가 앉아있는걸 보고 살짝 놀랐어, 왜냐하면 그렇게 일찍 끝내는건 포인트에서 포인트로 계속 전력 질주를 해야 가능한 일이었거든.

 

As soon as he saw me walking in to the point with two rubber ducks, he came running over thanking me for finding his rubber duck and I learned the sad truth: this point had been his start point that morning at zero dark thirty. He’d gotten a couple hundred meters out from his start point, stopped for a map check where he’d put his rubber duck down, and then confidently strode off... leaving his rubber duck on the ground.

러버덕 두개를 든 채 포인트로 다가오는 날 보자마자, 그는 내게 달려와서 자신의 러버덕을 찾아줘서 고맙다고 했어.

그제서야 난 슬픈 진실을 알게 되었지. 이 지점이 그날 새벽 이 후보생의 시작 포인트였었다는걸. 그는 시작 포인트에서 200미터 떨어진 곳에서 지도를 확인하기 위해 러버덕을 땅바닥에 내려놓은 다음, 다시 출발할 때 러버덕을 놓고 갔던거야.

 

Apparently he’d spent hours retracing his steps and searching back and forth until, defeated, he’d finally walked back into his start point and admitted that he’d lost his rubber duck. By the time I showed up with it, he’d already voluntarily withdrawn (VW’d) from the course, so returning his rubber duck to him was not much consolation.

몇시간 동안 자기 발걸음을 되짚어보다가, 결국 포기하고 출발지점으로 되돌아와서 러버덕을 잃어버렸다고 자백했던거지.

내가 그의 러버덕을 들고 나타났을땐 그가 이미 선발 과정에서 스스로 철회한 뒤였기 때문에 러버덕을 돌려주는게 큰 위안이 되진 않았을거야.

 

C’est la vie.

어쩌겠어, 살다보면 이런 일도 있는거지.